From a very young age we are told that little boys are made of “slugs and snails and puppy dog’s tails,” whilst girls are made of “sugar and spice and all things nice.” Professor Von Brainsneezing of Dumbkopf University backs this up. “After examining the evidence, I have come to the conclusion that these findings are correct and accurate.” Abby Sciuto, well-known NCIS fictional forensic expert agrees absolutely with these findings. “You’d never get Special Agent Gibbs to be gullible!” she declares. A frown then crosses her face, “Unless you use a red-headed female. Then he’d be mince.” She disappears in tears.
As we grow up, our gullibility factor remains steady through the tooth fairy years up to the very last letter to Santa Clause. Then something very interesting happens. The boys begin asking Santa for joysticks, and the girls start asking for boobs.
This shows that, whilst there has been a revolution of understanding within the mind of the little girl as she sits on Santa’s lap and notices his delight at her blossoming form, little has evolved in the boy’s brain, except a growing awareness of his need for a joystick. This shows us that the girl is looking to her assets, while the boy is still trying to find his. This behaviour has a tendency to develop and, taken to extremes, has become known as the “Anna Nicole Smith” Syndrome – ANSS for short. If you have ANSS in your pants, you know it’s serious.
As both genders mature in age and experience, the women may have their moments, but it is the men who show definite signs of gaining the lead, streaking ahead in the gullibility stakes, outpacing their female companions in their bid to win, and finally ending in a climatic flourish of gullibility.
Many women may be gullible in believing that they can reach the blissful state of “happily ever after” regardless of their boob size. But countless more men are prey to a much stronger fantasy, aided and abetted by women with a multitude of motives. Men believe it happens time and time again, all over the world, and every time they believe it happens, a little gnome is kicked in the privates by a fairy, accompanied by the sound of ringing balls.
What is it? What is the finish line men cross that makes them triumphant holders of the Trophy for Gullibility?
It is their willingness to believe that they have the biggest, best, most perfectly shaped joystick in the world, and it is a belief that has instigated wars and joint accounts in equal numbers. And, as long as she holds the joystick in question, women will always have the edge over men when it comes to gullibility - and how to exploit it!
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