Saturday, April 30, 2011

Miraculous New Weight Loss Fruit Discovered In the Amazon Jungle!

A recent expedition into one of the remotest parts of the Amazonian jungle by a conservational research team has resulted in an accidental medical discovery that has created mass excitement in the weight loss industry.

Researchers from the Small Furry Animals Conservation Group (SFACG) were hoping to locate an endangered Amazonian pygmy jungle mouse (minisculus rodentia amozonius), thought to reside in an area of the Amazon that was previously unchartered, when they stumbled upon an undiscovered indigenous tribe never before encountered.

Interacting With the Tribe

The tribe was initially hostile and apprehensive towards the research team. But the research team persevered and soon became accepted into the tribe’s inner sanctum. Overcoming language barrier difficulties by using drawings and sign, the SFACG team discovered the tribe called themselves the ‘Fruuti-Slimmee’.

The Fruuti-Slimmee people were hunter-gatherers, and rather ironically, their main food source was the very same endangered pygmy jungle mouse the research team had been trying to locate. At first the team thought it impossible that any culture could survive by relying on such a tiny creature as their main source of food. But an amazing discovery revealed how this was possible…

A Weight Loss Miracle Revealed!

The Fruuti-Slimmee regularly ate a small bright red fruit, similar to a cherry, and whilst this fruit had no obvious nutritional value it did produce two miraculous side-effects: Rapid weight loss and appetite suppression

The Fruuti-Slimmee called the red fruit, ‘fati-gon-gon’. Not only did the fruit’s side-effect allow the Fruuti-Slimmee people to survive on the meager meal of the pygmy mouse, it also assisted in their efforts to hunt the tiny mammal. The hunting benefits were three-fold:

1. Because the fruit made the tribes people stick thin they were able to easily hide behind even the slimmest of trees.

2. Their svelte figures allowed them to follow their prey into tighter, confined spaces.

3. They presented smaller targets for other jungle predators also hunting the mouse.

The New Diet Miracle Trialed and Tested

Since the SFACG team brought their find back, it has since been given the more scientific label of liposuctionii naturalis. Scientific tests have shown that the fruit rapidly increases the body’s metabolism and causes a temporary contraction of the stomach. These effects last for approximately 6 hours after the fruit is digested. There are other minor side effects which include: chronic wind, diarrhea and a purple tongue. But most dieters will find these effects minimal compared to the rapid weight loss benefits.

The miracle rapid weight loss fruit has been relabeled as the ‘Slimming Berry’ (patent pending) by the dieting industry and will soon be available as both a juice drink and dried fruit product.

Where Can You Buy This Weight Loss Miracle?

You can’t. This was all a load of fictitious nonsense. Sorry, but the idea was to highlight how easy it is to promote some fancily named exotic fruit as a miraculous weight loss marvel. Read the article again and instead of becoming exited when you see ‘weight loss miracle’ try concentrating on the supposed facts!

Stop believing that every new fruit holds some mystical property. The Acai berry is just a berry. Mangosteen is simply another exotic fruit. All fruit is good for you as part of a balanced diet. You don’t need to spend a small fortune on over-priced fad fruits to reap a benefit.

Bananas have lots of potassium. Blackberries, pineapple and cranberries contain anti-oxidants. Oranges and apples have vitamin C. The standard fruits contain the exact same nutritional properties as the over-priced diet super fruits. No fruit will miraculously dissolve fat. Eat healthily, exercise regularly and don’t get sucked in by clever marketing.

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